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This morning in our middle school Bible class we talked about “loving each other” which obviously implies a social relationship.
I identified for them one of the greatest impediments to social relationships… the iPhone. The other day I walked by our waiting room at work and all the people were staring at their iPhones and not engaging with one another.
We have been talking about how to meet visitors and other strangers and how to get to know them better. I asked one of the students how he would greet a stranger. He said he would shake hands and introduce himself. That certainly is a start but is the bare minimum of greeting.
- shake hands… not the cold fish hand shake but a warm and vigorous hand shake like you mean it.
show a little emotion in your facial expressions, certainly a smile (not a sardonic grin) but also emotionally react with other facial features as they are engaging you. People love emotions and are a way of connecting.
- As you are talking use your hands and employ body language. Non-verbal communication can be impactful.
Uncomfortable talking? Don’t know what to say? Ask questions and let the other person do the talking. People like to talk about themselves.
- Don’t be afraid to add a little humor. Sometimes I can’t understand what people say when they tell me their name so I just make up a name that sounds like what they say. One of Lauren’s friends introduced himself to me and I thought he said his name was “Dave” I said… do they ever call you “Super Dave” Turns out his name was not Dave after all but I still call him Super Dave.
- Sometimes when someone is about to introduce themselves to me I say something like… I’m pretty good at guessing names… let me give it a try. Is your name “Barney” That certainly takes away the predictability of a greeting.
- Or sometimes I try to guess what someones occupation is just by looking at them. I study on it for a few seconds and say… Mortician? If someone gives me a hard hand shake I’ll ask them if they milk cows for a living.
- If they respond by asking me what my occupation is I might say something like “Internationally famous brain surgeon” or “Used carpet salesman” However most people are not socially developed and won’t do the favor of asking what your profession is.
- above all one needs to have confidence and become the master in all social situations and look at those situations as a challenge. Of course that only comes with practice and experience.
We “love each other” by caring enough to try to get to know each other and by learning about each other. I asked my class to share with each other one thing about themselves. We have one who loves to play basketball, one who loves cats, one who likes to draw pictures of deer, one who plays soccer and one who loves reading.
My goal in the middle school class is to not only teach the Bible but also to build up their relationships with each other and me. Not the social relationship with an iPhone.
Consider how Jesus taught about service…
- He didn’t tell them to wash each others feet. He demonstrated it. A picture is worth a thousand words.
- He didn’t assign the job to his least favorite disciple (Judas) to punish him and he didn’t assign it to the disciple He loved (John). He also didn’t assign the job to Peter to learn humility because he was going to teach it to Peter in a different way. He did it himself.
- Jesus even washed the feet of perhaps his greatest enemy… Judas. And I’m guessing that he thoroughly washed Judas’ feet. What an unforgettable lesson to demonstrate to us all to “love” our enemies.
- Consider the timing of this event. He could have washed their feet at any time during his ministry but he did it just prior to his betrayal. Extremely impactful and burned into their memories.
Actions can be more powerful than words. Whatever lessons you may want to teach (respect, love, hospitality, truthfulness, forgiveness, dedication, hard work) demonstrate them first in your own life.
Words without actions are like a car without wheels… they won’t ever leave the garage.
This morning our middle school Bible class studied about being ready when Christ comes again. Tonights class was on what kind of things we could be doing to be ready. The students were given 5 minutes or so to come up with a list.
Most of the lists had the kind of things you might expect… study the Bible, go to church, pray. But one of the students said he wanted to talk to other people more. I love that because he is naturally shy.
I asked them if they had ever walked up to a stranger and introduced themselves and started a conversation. They had not. I practiced with them how they might go about that. Mainly just asking questions and letting the stranger do the talking.
Then I mentioned that greeting visitors at church is very important and asked them who they thought might be the best greeters at church. One said Ricardo Baca and the other said Larry White.
Both those guys are good but I have a list in my head of our best 5 greeters. Three of them are women and two of them are men. I recruit greeters and point out to them people who they need to use their excellent skill set on. Greeting can be taught and coached but some people are naturally gifted at connecting with others. Lauren Underwood.
One characteristic of a good greeter is they naturally make eye contact with others. I asked the class if they have experienced people who walk by them and never make eye contact and act like they don’t know that you even exist. I also asked if they had experienced people who would make eye contact and engage in conversation with them. And what were their feelings about both kinds of people.
I then asked them what group they were in. Eye contact or no eye contact. Smiley face or frowny face.
I told the young man who wanted to talk to more people that I was going to carve out some time for him and coach him to be able to talk to other people and when I thought he was ready I would take the leash off and turn him loose.
As a song leader I occasionally like to sing two songs to prepare the hearts of the congregation in their participation in the taking of the Lord’s Supper.
I start with “Silent Night, Holy Night” It is a song about the birth of Jesus Christ that is both mournful and hopeful.
The birth of Jesus was set in a scene that was humble and solitary… Just Jesus and his parents in a small corner of a small town.
Jesus’ birth was celebrated first by Shepherds and then by Wise men from the East accompanied by celebratory gifts. Even the stars in heaven witnessed his birth.
The events accompanying Jesus’ death were frightful and demonstrative… earth quakes, the buried dead coming to life, the sun’s illumination turned off and the tearing of the veil in the Temple that separated Israel from God.
His death scene was completely different from his birth scene. A quiet manger scene verses the scene of being raised on a cross on top of a hill for all of Jerusalem to see. Surrounded by those who hated and despised him.
The two common denominators of Jesus birth and death were his complete sin free innocence and the presence of his mother Mary.
I follow “Silent Night, Holy Night” with “Up from the Grave he Arose”
He lived like no other… born in humbleness and humility. Killed in agony and rage. Raised in triumph and glory.
I love the sentiments expressed in “Silent Night, Holy Night” and “Up from the Grave he Arose” and hopefully leading those two songs helps bring the participants closer to Jesus Christ so we can live like no others.
In the Veterinary business it can be very difficult to find a Veterinarian to add to your practice. In fact there are recruiters you can hire to find you an Associate… they charge $30,000.
It made me wonder what would we be willing to pay to “recruit” a new convert or to add a member to the congregation (if you could do that)
Of course I have written two books based on my Uncle Rob’s Blog. Those books are not free to me. I have to pay every time I order some.
I keep some of those books at the church building and if a visitor from the area comes to services I give them a copy. I inscribe my name and phone number inside the front cover. I’m not ostentatious about being an author. I usually tell recipients that its best use is as a sleep aid. Lol.
I keep some books in my truck and at my office in case I run across someone who indicates a little “spiritual” inclination.
Examples…
We have several regular visitors who attend. Recently one said… “I’m really enjoying your book… it is really well written”
I gave a young member a copy who couldn’t afford one. The next Sunday she told me she cried over an article. Which one? “Good News About Alzheimers”
I was at the scrap yard and a woman came up to me and started talking to me and for some reason hugged me. I asked… how are you doing? She said very well spiritually. Anyway we talked for a while and she followed me to my truck and I gave her a book.
The other day a client who I have known for a long time came in with his dog and both volumes of my book. He had bought them and wanted them autographed. Then he added that he had read both books twice and was amazed at how I could write what I wrote. I have known him since before his wife left him for another man and broke his heart. He added that he was a believer but didn’t attend anywhere.
My Uncle who lives out in California says they use my books as a basis for their Bible class in the denomination where he attends.
I could add many more examples.
Here’s what I know for a fact. Not everyone reads the books I give them. Not everyone appreciates the content… but some do. It’s kind of like sowing the seed… you just keep giving away books and hope that some good is done.
Those books do cost me something but I would pay a whole lot more to help someone find Jesus Christ.
I knew a Preacher/fellow Elder who I worked with for over thirty years. To my best recollection he never paid me a compliment. That is until the day he left and then over a phone conversation he paid me a compliment that may be the best compliment I have ever received and it brought tears to my eyes. That was very encouraging.
On the other hand I know people who give out compliments like giving out candy on Halloween… everyone gets one. I had led singing one Sunday morning and had a fellow tell me what a great job I did. That felt good until a few Sundays later a Song Leader led singing who I thought did a particularly poor job and yet the same fellow who paid me a compliment gave the other a guy the exact same compliment… “great job song leading” All of a sudden the candy didn’t taste so sweet.
I’m not saying to only give out compliments every thirty years nor am I saying to continuously give out compliments. But what I am saying is make those compliments real and special. Pay a compliment when it is deserved and provide some details like…
- that prayer you led stirred my heart.
- that prayer brought tears to my eyes.
- the songs you led were inspiring and touched my heart
- I learned something in class today that I had never ever thought of. Thank-you.
- you are going to be an excellent Elder some day and I can’t wait.
Compliments can be very encouraging when given properly and are a great tool for stimulating spiritual growth. When given improperly they can be meaningless and empty.
When Ezra came to Judea to bring the Law of Moses the first thing that happened was that he heard a report of rampant sin… the intermarrying of Jews with the gentile people. He immediately dropped down to pray and to seek guidance on how to remedy the problem.
When Nehemiah heard a bad report about the people and Jerusalem, he also dropped down in prayer and resolved to remedy the situation by rebuilding the wall.
God was with Zerubbabel and King Darius and God was also with Nehemiah and King Artaxerxes. However, King Darius was much more active at protecting the Jews than King Artaxerxes was.
King Darius warned and threatened the surrounding governors with punishments like “impalement” while in King Artaxerxes time the surrounding Governors were given a free hand to intimidate and persecute the Jews. A discrepancy it seems.
Ezra was ashamed to ask King Artaxerxes for troops and protection on the trip to Jerusalem. But King Artaxerxes provided officers of the army and horsemen to accompany Nehemiah. Maybe because Nehemiah was an official of the court and Ezra was just a Jew?
Ezra (and others) successfully got the Jews to commit to only marrying other Jews and to get rid of their Gentile wives and children. You might think with that great cleansing of sin that God would make them prosper but alas it was not so.
Nehemiah came along and found that the Jews were again intermarrying with the Gentile girls and in addition found that the rich Jews were oppressing the poor Jews… charging them interest on loans, confiscating their properties and enslaving their children. Nehemiah was successful in correcting those sins and again you might expect with this turn to righteousness that the yoke of Persian domination might be cast off and Israel might be free and prosperous once again but alas… not so.
Ezra and Nehemiah were acting on the premise (faulty) that God was going to restore Israel to its former prominence and throw off the yoke of foreign domination and give them a King like King David. Their actions were to accomplish that goal. But it was never to be.
No one, including Ezra and Nehemiah, understood the great “mystery” that God was going to reveal. That there would be no earthly kingdom, there would be no earthly King and they would always be under the domination of foreign powers regardless of how “pure” (racially and spiritually) they were.
In the future they could marry whoever they wanted to. They could eat whatever they wanted to and they could worship wherever they wanted to (to name a few things). True freedom.
It becomes easier to understand the backlash against Jesus Christ and the Jews disappointment when you understand those deeply ingrained beliefs based on the Law of Moses… it’s blessings and its curses.
We all are depressed when our expectations come up short but must be resilient enough to change as God reveals new information to us and our understanding is clarified.
