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The qualification in I Timothy 3 states that an Elder candidate “Must be the husband of one wife”. Usually there is a reason behind qualifications and one reason is that the man must be a family man and demonstrate good leadership qualities in his own family so that the congregation can predict his ability to lead God’s family. Not a bad reason but probably not the only reason.
Julie and I were married in 1973 one week out of high school. She remains some 43 years later the only girl I ever dated. When I became an Elder at Parkway she fully supported me in that… of course. Over the course of time I have seen her excel as a Bible class teacher. To this day I can still say she is stronger in the Old Testament than I am. Gradually I saw her taking on other tasks. Tasks that I never asked or hinted that she do. As you know I send out via email my “Church News”. She started copying that and handing it out to people who don’t have email… primarily older people. Her weekly “Church News” is different than mine. Hers includes a prayer list, plus all the emails that I have sent out to the rest of the congregation during the week. In addition, she’ll add anything encouraging that she might find.
Speaking of the “Prayer List” she is the one who maintains and updates that. I just forward it on.
She also keeps up the “Membership Roster” which includes email addresses, birthdays and anniversaries.
Every once in a while someone will thank me for an anniversary or birthday card. Everyone in the congregation receives those but they are not from me… they are from her signed “Rob and Julie Perkins”. BTW, she doesn’t get as many thanks as the number of cards she sends out but she has never complained about that.
She sees needs and encourages me to do something about it.
A while back I closed my fist and told her jokingly she was “quenching my spirit”. She said “I have been trying for 40 years to quench your spirit and so far have been unsuccessful”. And yet a while back I had 3-4 members who were kind of down on me and said (for the first time), “sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth it”. A few days later she told me some things about what a fine Elder she thought I was and some other kind things and a light came on and I said, “this is about what I said the other day?”
She is vital in organizing church Pot lucks like the one we just had.
She’s a quiet person and some people don’t understand her. Several years ago one of our Hispanic members asked me if she was prejudiced. No she’s just quiet and not as extroverted as I am. She doesn’t like attention drawn to herself and I’m sure I’ll be in trouble for this but I wanted to illustrate what an Elders wife can do working behind the scenes and not seeking the limelight and how she has helped transform me.
I’ll never forget the day when a light clicked on for me and I thought…. She believes in me.And that has made all the difference.
I’ve been wanting to do a little writing about being an Elder in a congregation of the Lord’s people. You can read in the scriptures details about the qualities of men required to be an Elder and the work that Elders do. I want to add to those things some things I have learned about being an Elder. I don’t presume to know everything and in fact find that with every year that passes I am still learning.
David Smitherman and I were selected by the congregation to be Elders on July 20, 1997. Three years later on June 18, 2000, Gus Cargile and Bill Chambers were added by the congregation. I was 43 years old when I was selected… that’s pretty young.
One of the huge things about being an Elder is you have to lead by example. A blood brother to that concept is that congregations will never rise (generally) above the level of their leadership. So we have to not only lead by example but also the example must be at a very high level.
If we want the congregation to be hospitable we have to be hospitable. If our level of hospitality is just shaking hands and making a little conversation then that’s what the congregation will do as well. That’s the level that a lot of congregations perform at.
If we want the congregation to attend well then we have to attend well.
If we want the congregation to be students of the Bible or teachers or preachers… so must we.
If we want the congregation to care about widows, children, the old, the lonely, the sick… so must we.
If we want the congregation to care about the lost… we must be obsessed with it.
If we want the congregation to pray and engage in heart felt prayer and to pray at every opportunity… that must be our example.
If we want the congregation to be generous with our money and time… we have to demonstrate generosity and the sacrifice of our time and our lives.
If we want the congregation to own up when they make mistakes… then we also must be accountable.
Men who have a desire to be Elders should prepare themselves by emulating these concepts.
Shepherds must labor among the flock and be intimately known by the flock. The flock needs to see that its Shepherds are willing to make any sacrifice necessary for the benefit of the flock.
I’m not the Shepherd I was 16 years ago hopefully, if the Lord wills, I will continue to learn. I hope this helps.
In the Old Testament the nation of Israel was figuratively called God’s wife. God was committed to his “wife” and cared for her and provided for her and she became prominent among the nations of the world. But there came a time when his wife wouldn’t listen to him and she started following after “false” Gods. She committed adultery. God was patient and urged her to return to faithfulness to him but she rejected him. So God empowered a foreign nation to almost completely destroy her as punishment for her infidelity.
In the New Testament we see that Jesus Christ has a wife and his wife is the church. He cares for her and cherishes her and provides amply for her. However we read in the Book of Revelation (Chapters 1-3) that Jesus found fault with his wife. Among other things she had “left her first love”, “followed after false teachings”, and had become complacent in performing good works. Jesus warned her to make correction and if they did not he personally would “make war with them with the sword…”
God’s bride Israel (of past times) and Christ’s bride the church are beautiful brides as long as they remain faithful to their husbands. It can be a beautiful and satisfying relationship. Jesus Christ will always be faithful as a husband to the church. As a church let’s remember to be faithful to him in our good works and correct teaching of his Word.
There were two farmers who made a crop every year but they approached farming in two drastically different ways.
The first farmer was an old school farmer. He owned a farm that his father and grandfather had farmed before him. He liked the old ways of farming. He liked hooking the harnesses up to the mules and following them as they plowed. Sometimes his young sons would ride on his shoulders as he plowed. He saved seed back every year from the harvest.
As the young plants would come up he and his family would hoe the rows to keep the weeds down and at harvest the whole family would be in the fields picking cotton. They worked from sun-up to sun-down and took pride in their work. He knew there were newer ways to farm but was satisfied to farm the way he was the most comfortable with.
The second farmer was also raised on a family farm but when tractors became available he made the switch. Eventually he was using tractors that were guided by GPS systems. He invested in hybrid seeds that produced plants that were both drought and herbicide resistant. When it came time to control weeds he was able to over spray his fields with herbicide that didn’t harm the cotton plants. When harvest time came the big combines would come in collect all that cotton in a jiffy. Because his operations were so profitable he was able to expand his operations and farm more land and became even more productive.
The farmers are Elders and Preachers. The farms represent both the lost in the world and local congregations. Some of the Elders and Preachers like the old ways… tried and true and do some good. Some of them look at the changes that are occurring in society and are reaching out to society where society “gathers”… like social media and instead of going “door to door” are using the internet to teach classes on Skype.
There are many tools to build congregations and find the lost. Let’s seek them out and use them.
