Marriage 101

Most young people contemplating marriage anticipate a lifetime commitment with a loved one and the blessing of children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work out.

The recipe for happiness and longevity in marriage is found in the scriptures. It begins with a young woman and a young man who are sexually pure. They respect God’s laws regarding marriage and make iron clad vows to each other and to God. Those vows are witnessed by family and friends who serve to make the young couple accountable to their vows. It’s like a little plant that needs a little watering, a little weeding, a little protection and a little sunshine so that in time it can grow into a strong and beautiful tree.

There is a new method that young couples commonly employ today to reach the goal of successful marriage. They live together for awhile in a relationship that mimics marriage sans vows. The goal, I suppose, is to see if the relationship will work and if it does then take vows or let the relationship evolve into a common law marriage. Like a little sickly plant that someone plants and ignores and says, “let’s see if it grows”.

There are two reasons why this is the wrong approach; a moral one and a practical one. First of all God forbids sex outside the marital relationship. It’s wrong.

Secondly, as a practical matter, there is no accountability in such a relationship. At the first sign of trouble in the “living together” relationship the unhappy mate can conclude this isn’t working and bail out. Let’s face it, all marriages have problems but mates who have vowed vows and are held accountable by their family and friends tend to work through their problems and the marriage grows stronger.

Julie and I never considered living together outside the bounds of marriage. Our families would have thrown a fit. I would have had the combined weight of grandparents, uncles and aunts, and people that I hold the dearest in the world raining down on me.

In addition, if we had “lived together” we would probably not be together now. We have had our share of troubles in our marriage and without vows we might have separated and become entangled in some other relationship destroying any hope of reconciliation.

If you want to have a long happy marriage… trust God and not your ungodly friends.