Satan’s 10 Commandments

1. There is no God and if there is one he doesn’t really care about you. So, live your life however you want to.

2. Since there is no God you can worship whatever you want to; Sex, Sports, Food… whatever.

3. Use God’s name however you want to. It really doesn’t matter… it’s not like he’s going to throw thunderbolts at you. If you do offend him all you have to do is say “I’m sorry”.

4. The Sabbath Day is just like any other… do whatever you want to. You’ve worked hard all week… rest up or go do whatever makes you happy.

5. Your mom and dad… what makes them so special? They’re human just like anyone else. I say respect wisdom and experience. If your parents have that then great but so do a lot of other people. Find those people and respect them

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6. Thou shalt not kill? Really? Didn’t God kill people for violating his so called laws? If it’s good enough for God why not you? There is a law of self-preservation and benefitting self. If someone violates that then… you know what to do.

7. Adultery is OK as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. After all it is your own body and you can do with it what you want.

8. Stealing is not that bad, especially if the other person does not deserve what they have. Why should they have something they don’t deserve? Stealing is also OK if the other person has too much and you have too little. God told the rich to share with the poor. It’s OK to punish them by taking what they have.

9. It’s OK to “bear false witness” if you have to in order to protect yourself. Also you can bear false witness if the other person has ever harmed you or if they are not nice.

10. Wanting what others have is not bad. We all want to better ourselves and have more. What could be wrong with that?