Loving Each Other and How to Build Social Relationships

This morning in our middle school Bible class we talked about “loving each other” which obviously implies a social relationship.

I identified for them one of the greatest impediments to social relationships… the iPhone. The other day I walked by our waiting room at work and all the people were staring at their iPhones and not engaging with one another.

We have been talking about how to meet visitors and other strangers and how to get to know them better. I asked one of the students how he would greet a stranger. He said he would shake hands and introduce himself. That certainly is a start but is the bare minimum of greeting.

- shake hands… not the cold fish hand shake but a warm and vigorous hand shake like you mean it. show a little emotion in your facial expressions, certainly a smile (not a sardonic grin) but also emotionally react with other facial features as they are engaging you. People love emotions and are a way of connecting.

- As you are talking use your hands and employ body language. Non-verbal communication can be impactful. Uncomfortable talking? Don’t know what to say? Ask questions and let the other person do the talking. People like to talk about themselves.

- Don’t be afraid to add a little humor. Sometimes I can’t understand what people say when they tell me their name so I just make up a name that sounds like what they say. One of Lauren’s friends introduced himself to me and I thought he said his name was “Dave” I said… do they ever call you “Super Dave” Turns out his name was not Dave after all but I still call him Super Dave.

- Sometimes when someone is about to introduce themselves to me I say something like… I’m pretty good at guessing names… let me give it a try. Is your name “Barney” That certainly takes away the predictability of a greeting.

- Or sometimes I try to guess what someones occupation is just by looking at them. I study on it for a few seconds and say… Mortician? If someone gives me a hard hand shake I’ll ask them if they milk cows for a living.

- If they respond by asking me what my occupation is I might say something like “Internationally famous brain surgeon” or “Used carpet salesman” However most people are not socially developed and won’t do the favor of asking what your profession is.

- above all one needs to have confidence and become the master in all social situations and look at those situations as a challenge. Of course that only comes with practice and experience.

We “love each other” by caring enough to try to get to know each other and by learning about each other. I asked my class to share with each other one thing about themselves. We have one who loves to play basketball, one who loves cats, one who likes to draw pictures of deer, one who plays soccer and one who loves reading.

My goal in the middle school class is to not only teach the Bible but also to build up their relationships with each other and me. Not the social relationship with an iPhone.