Saying Goodbye

As a Veterinarian I am tasked with euthanizing the beloved pets of our clients. I do it several times a day. At first I would be affected by the emotions of my clients but then as time went by I became more immune to it. I have witnessed the silent sorrow of some and on the other end have seen the bitter wails and crying of others. I’ve seen it all.

The other day I had a pet presented for euthanasia and I started crying and had to leave the room… unusual for me. An old lady came in with a 16 year old poodle which had lived far beyond its life expectancy and had all the symptoms of advanced age… blindness, deafness, arthritis and dementia. The woman loved “Coco” and was reluctant to put her “to sleep”. She explained that she and her husband had moved into assisted care living and that her husband had told her to put Coco to sleep… and she couldn’t she just couldn’t do it.

Now her husband had developed kidney failure and she was over whelmed with caring for him and exhausted and didn’t have enough time to care for Coco. She had thought of placing Coco with someone else but she wasn’t sure of the care Coco might get from someone who had not loved Coco like she had.

I told her that I understood. That my dad had developed cancer and my own mother was overwhelmed with his care and then I started crying and had to leave the room. I came back later when I had composed myself and helped Coco pass on. The old lady hugged me and thanked me.

I think my employees think I don’t care when I put a pet to sleep because I am emotionally solid because euthanasia is something I do every day. But every once in a while I surprise them and myself when some unexpected connection is made that they can’t see and I didn’t anticipate.

I understood that woman because she looked like my mother to me and my mother’s emotions were my own emotions. I feel them exquisitely.

My guess is that our Lord God almighty feels our emotions just like we feel them. And that when we feel pain it’s like he feels it… as if it were his own pain. Imagine that kind of love.

Oh to be like him and I hope and pray that I can be.